What If?
by adr13
Summary: A few one shots about have a few episodes could be different if there were a woman in McGarrett's life.


The following is additions to the original story, how it could have been if he were dating Julie during this time. This is early on in the relationship.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Blind Tiger<p>

* * *

><p>Julie smiled and thanked her customers as they left the small café. The morning rays warmed her back as she pocketed the tip and moved to another table. "Need a warm up?"<p>

The elderly man smiled and lay his folded paper on the table. "No, I'm ready for my check."

She was flipping through her note book when the headline caught her eye. _Car Bomb Detonates at Ilioni Palace. 5-0 Detective Injured. _

She gasped. Her eyes were reading the article before her hands could even snatch the paper up. It stated that an unknown member of the state police unit had been injured by a bomb placed in the car. It went onto state that the detective was in the hospital, but failed to mention a name. For once in her life, that actually bothered her.

Who had been hurt? Danny? Steve? Her heart raced at the thought of either of them hurt. They were supposed to get together last night for his birthday. When he haddn't come, she had been disappointed but assumed that work had interfered again.

"Are you okay?" the customer asked, worriedly. "You're as white as a sheet."

Julie's hand trembled as she handed him the check. " I'm sorry, I-I need to make a phone call."

She hurried inside to the office and hurriedly picked up the phone, interrupting the operator. "Illioni Palace, 5-0 offices."

The next minute, Jenny's tired sounding voice answered the call. "Hawaii 5-o."

"I need to speak with Danny Williams." she told her. She felt a spark of panic flare up when she spoke.

"He's out of the office, may I take a message?"

That sounds scripted, her brain registered. The spark flared slightly at the standard answer. Please don't let them be hurt. "I'm Julie, his cousin. Please, I just saw the paper, is he hurt?"

"No, Danny is fine." The secretary reported grudgingly.

Julie felt slightly relieved. She pushed, even though she knew that it might not yield her anything. "Who was hurt?"

"I'm not authorized to give a statement." Came the automatic reply. "If you want to leave a message I'll take it now. Otherwise, have a nice day."

Julie hung up the phone in frustration. At least her cousin wasn't hurt. But she still had no clue weither or not her - her what? What was he to her? Her boyfriend? Uncertain. Her lover? They hadn't gotten that far. Fling? She liked to think it was more than that...

"Julie, what are you doing in here?"

She jumped, realizing that her boss had come into the office. "I'm sorry Mr. Yamoto. I-I'm not feeling well. I was coming to ask if I could go home."

Mr. Yamoto mulled it over. "That should be ok. Mariah should be able to cover for you."

"Thank you." Julie took her bag and headed out to the street to hail a cab. Lucky for her, the paper mentioned the name of the hospital. She told the driver where to go. She arrived at the hospital just after 10 am.

Even though she didn't know who or what room, she was certain that it would not be hard. There will be police everywhere. If she could just get there and see Steve standing there barking orders, she would know that he was ok and go home. She took the elevator, checking each floor as she went.

The doors opened on the fourth floor to a socking sight. Steve McGarrett was stumbling down the hall, arms out stretched against the wall.

The doors started to close, causing her to step off quickly. She gasped when Steve collided with a cart.

What was wrong with him? She had a sinking feeling as he stumbled into a laundry bin. Couldn't he see? She saw a nurse and doctor close behind him, waving people away from the detective. Why weren't they helping him?

Steve angrily slung the bin out of the way and continued his shuffle. He walked into a dining room and promptly fell over a table. He landed on the floor with a barely contained growl at a helper.

Julie's anger flared at the perceived mistreatment. Her first instinct was to run to help, but she checked herself at the sound of his irritated voice calling to the nurse.

She could hear his low toned voice talking, and then moments later he was led back to a room further down the hall. She watched the scene with a dreadful realization. Steve had been hurt. But how bad? He was walking under his own power, but the awful feeling was over powering. Was he ….?

A minute later the doctor and nurse exited the room, talking together.

She approached the room, unsure if the guard would let her in. She stepped up to the room, intending to go straight in when she was stopped.

"You can't go in there." the officer told her.

"I'm his sister." She lied quickly. "Please, I need to see him."

He thought for a beat. Did his orders include relatives? He knew that Chadwick was inside, so he stood aside and let her in.

Julie went in, moving past the guard inside.

McGarrett was lying on his side, facing away from the door. He was wearing what she decided was his favorite blue pants and white shirt. She was certian that he had multiple suits in that same color. He was eerily quiet. His head turned at the sound of the door closing.

"Who's there?" when she didn't answer, he sat up, his blue eyes stared right through her. "Who's there?"

Julie took a step closer to him. "It's Julie."

His face changed for a brief moment. "Chadwick, stand outside."

"My orders are to stay in the room, sir."

"I am still in charge!" McGarrett said tersely. "Stand outside!"

Officer Chadwick speedily complied. He didn't want to disobey orders, but he also didn't want to be on McGarrett's bad side. Especially when he had to stay in such close proximity.

Julie crossed the room and gently hugged him. She was so worried that her words came out in a rush. "I saw the paper. I was so worried, I didn't know who was hurt. I just had to see you. Are you ok?"

McGarrett subtly pulled from her embrace before removing her arms from his neck. He had rolled up his sleeves and she could see the scrapes on his hands and forearms from the pavement. He looked a bit...singed as well. He breathed deeply. "I can't see."

Julie bit her lip, sorting her emotions. She had thought that when she'd seen him in the hall, she just didn't want to believe it. "Is it permanent?"

Steve's breath hitched before he answered. "They don't know."

"Oh Steve, I'm so sorry." she began. He must be scared; she knew that she would be in his shoes.

He stopped her mid-sentence. "I don't need your pity."

"I wasn't trying -" Julie stopped. She realized that she needed to word stuff differently. He's had a terrible shock; she needed to be there for him. "What can I do?"

Steve shuffled his feet, looking for his shoes. "I need you to give me a ride to the office."

"Steve, you need to rest." She tried to dissuade him.

"Am I not clear?" he snapped. "Someone is trying to kill me. I can't just sit around here waiting for him to come back."

"I'm sure Danny and the others can handle it. Let us help you." Julie slipped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. "Your body needs to rest."

McGarrett clinched his jaw against the yelp that threatened to escape as she pressed his shirt against the burns on his back. He masked the pain with anger, pushing her away. "I don't need rest. I just need a ride."

She could feel the tension and his stress levels rising. Knowing she was about to make it worse, she reached up and caressed his face. "Steve..."

He tried to step around her. "Let's go."

"I'm not springing you."

McGarrett's frustration blew its limit. Embarrassment and anger only fueled the fire. "What good are you?"

"Steve..." she had not been expecting this reaction. She had heard about his temper, now that she was facing it, she was unsure how to handle it.

"Are you going to help me or not?" he demanded.

Julie steeled herself. She couldn't give in, no matter how much she wanted to. "Not the way you want."

"You're useless!" He nearly shouted at her. "Get out!"

His words hit her like a slap in the face. "Steve…"

"Get out!" Steve growled again, this time with more force.

Julie spun on her heel, running through the door that had just been opened, barely missing the incoming cop. She made it to the street before the first tears fell.

* * *

><p>McGarrett kicked the bed in frustration as Officer Chadwick stepped back into the room. He was fuming. He hated being helpless. He could hear the smugness in that nurse Lavalo's voice and it just made him angrier.<p>

What if he never regained his sight? What if he was doomed to stumble in the darkness forever? Worse than losing his sight, was losing his job. What if he had to be dependent on someone for the rest of his life? What would he do? Would he be able to continue living on his own? There were too many possibilities. He paced the room as the questions raced around his mind.

He dropped onto the bed, shoving his insecurities into the back of his mind. "Chadwick?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"The girl that was in her before, she was never here. Her visit does not go on the report. Understood?" McGarrett's voice had a sharp edge.

The young officer nodded quickly, forgetting in his nervousness that the man couldn't see it. "Yes sir."

* * *

><p>Julie slammed her apartment door closed and flung her purse across the room. His words stung deeply. Did he mean it, or was he just lashing out? Right now she didn't feel like sorting it out right now.<p>

She changed her clothes and grabbed her favorite surf board and headed out the door.

Julie surfaced, clamoring back onto the board.

Keanu padded over to her. "Where's your head girl? That's your fourth wipe out."

Julie tossed her water ladened braid back over her shoulder. "Sorry, Keanu."

The islander laughed. "I'm not. I'm having a great ride. You usually take all the good waves."

She shook her head and chuckled. Straddling her board, she watched the waves roll in from the horizon. The ocean was soothing her nerves.

He looked over at her. "You ok?"

She nodded absentmindedly.

"I know that look, you're having man problems." he said. "Wanna vent?"

Julie rolled her eyes and gave him a scrutinizing look. They had met soon after she'd moved to Oahu. He had asked her out nearly every other week. Was he angling for something? "The guy I've been seeing was in an accident, he may be injured permanently." she looked up at him. "What should I do? He was so mad when I wouldn't spring him."

"Just be there for him." he told her. "Do you have feeling for him?"

Julie was surprised by his question that she had to pause. "I'm starting to."

"You should tell him." Keanu said. "We don't advertise it, but men need to be reassured sometimes."

She nodded. What he was saying made sense. "You're pretty smart when you want to be."

"Shhh, it's a secret..." he joked

* * *

><p>McGarrett lay on the bed, deep in thought. The perp had been arrested. He'll never understand their thought process. How would killing him erase his son's police record?<p>

His thoughts turned toward Julie. He was sure that he had royally messed things up with her. Part of him was glad that he hadn't been able to see her face when he had yelled at her.

She didn't visit or call after that. Should he try to contact her? Maybe he should just leave it alone. They had been dating for a few weeks, or was it two months? At least half of dates were late, rescheduled or cancelled because of the job. How long would she put up with it?

_You're an idiot._ He told himself. He enjoyed her company. If they were going to break up, she would have to do it. He felt for the phone.

Julie was unlocking her front door when she heard the phone ringing. She lunged inside, barely getting inside as a light rain began to fall. She set down her groceries down and scooped up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Julie, its McGarrett."

She was surprised to hear from him. It was nearly a week since she had last seen him. "Hi."

There was a pause where neither knew what to say.

"I'm sorry Julie." He said at last.

She let out a breath of relief. She thought that he was going to break up with her. She found herself automatically replying. "It's ok."

"No, it's not." He paused, trying to come up with an explanation.

"Can you come to the hospital?" McGarrett asked. He had done the damage in person, he needed to fix it the same way.

Julie smiled at the tone she detected. Did he miss her? She checked the time, thinking that she might blow off her plans to surf with her friends. But there was a competition coming up. "I can come down later."

"Thanks love."

Julie hung up the phone and starred at it. She would go after a quick practice run. There was a competition next month and she needed all the practice she could get.

Two hours after ending the phone call, she pulled into the hospital parking lot. Despite the protests of her friends, she left early and went straight to the hospital. Sitting against her car, she braided her wet hair to keep it out of the way. Then went up to the room. She noticed that the guards were gone.

Julie tentatively stepped into the doorway. Even though he had called her down here, she perfectly recalled his red faced temper on her last visit. She saw him leaning against the wall to the right of the door. He was on the phone.

"Yeah sis, I'm ok." Steve was saying. "No you don't have to do that. Yeah, I'll call you later. Bye Mary Ann."

Julie waited until he hung up the phone before rapping her knuckles against the door frame.

He turned towards the sound. "Julie?"

She came into the room. "Hi Steve."

Steve came to stand in front of her, "Julie..." He was suddenly at a loss for words.

This is it, she thought. He's breaking it off. But she didn't want to break up, she liked being around him. Plus she hadn't had a chance to tell him how she felt about him.

"I'm sorry Julie." He said simply.

"It's ok Steve, I understand. You were hurt..."

He reached for her, missing slightly as he miscalculated her position. She slipped into his open arms, loosely hugging him so she wouldn't aggravate the burn. He embraced her tightly, lowering his head to rest on hers.

She's been on the beach today, McGarrett thought. Her hair was wet against his skin. He could practically smell the sunshine on her skin. He wanted so badly to see her, to look in her eyes as he said, "it's not ok. I shouldn't have lost my temper. "

She snuggled closer against him.

"you're not useless." He said into her hair. "Not to me."

Julie smiled. "I really care about you Steve and I will be here no matter what. No pity involved."

Steve smiled at her last comment. She could probably take him in a fight. "I promise, as soon as I am clear of this joint, we'll make up for that date I missed."

Julie tilted her head back to kiss him. He returned it with fervor.

Unnoticed by the couple, Nurse Lavolo stood in the doorway, watching. She had felt herself slowly falling for the handsome Detective. In the week that she had been treating him, he hasn't mentioned a girl. Now, seeing them together she felt oddly isolated.

* * *

><p>"He's going to stay in jail Steve." Danny was telling him. "We'll see to that."<p>

McGarrett nodded. "Thanks Danno."

"You sure you don't want company?" he asked. "I could bring back take out?"

Steve smiled. "I don't think Lavolo would let you bring that in. But I'll be ok."

Danny rose to leave. "If you're sure."

"Get some rest Danno," he encouraged. "You'll need it for running 5-0"

Julie, who had been hiding in the bathroom for nearly an hour, watched as her cousin talked with Steve. Their familiarity and concern for each other was touching. They were realy close.

When he left, she came out. "I can go home if you want him to stay."

Steve reached out and took her hand, pulling her onto the bed with him. As she snugged in close, he said. "I'd rather be with you."

They sat there for some time listening to the TV. He kissed the top of her head.

Julie went for a kiss on the lips. "You know McGarrett, I think that I am falling for you."

Steve was surprised by her announcement. Even though he still couldn't see that well? His sight was returning, but there was still a possibility that it wouldn't be the same as before. He held her tightly. "You know something Love? I'm starting to feel the same way."

* * *

><p>AN I have a few more planned. PM me of you have an episode suggestion.


End file.
